Anxious. Overwhelmed. Fearful. Powerless. These are just a few of the emotions I’ve experienced during this period of social distancing caused by the aptly named coronavirus crisis. I’m incredibly fortunate and grateful to be surrounded by my immediate family during this time; however, as an extrovert and self-proclaimed ‘people person,’ I’ve been both haunted and intrigued by the question of how to successfully cope with and manage my time, and more importantly, my mind, when faced with chronic social isolation.

While social isolation is a new phenomenon for many of us, it’s a soul-crushing, enduring reality for 80,000 to 100,000 people who spend months and even years in solitary confinement as inmates in our U.S. prison system. In a recent Mother Jones article, Keith LaMar, an inmate who’s spent his last twenty-seven years confined to a space the size of a small bathroom, shared insights on how to maintain a sound mind amid extended physical confinement. 

What’s Keith’s secret you ask? 

Education...

When Keith speaks of education however, he isn’t talking about education in the traditional sense of the word; instead, he’s talking about a form of self discovery that’s demonstrated in education’s root word, ‘educe’, which means “to bring forth that which is already there.” Keith shares that solitary confinement, and consequently, social isolation, is an opportunity for introspection, growth, and personal development.

While you and your family should feel content with just being during this time, or better yet, just being healthy, it’s a great opportunity to use this societal pause to more intentionally push play on your own as well as your family’s development.

Below are a few easy ways to better get to know, nourish, and grow yourself and those closest to you in the coming weeks:

Carve Out Time to Focus On You

The road to self discovery starts and ends with you, so spend some of your socially distanced time getting to know YOU. How often do you take the time to really think about what you enjoy, to explore your interests, passions, and needs, or to work toward your dreams?

• Close your eyes and think about three things that, despite coronavirus, you’re insanely grateful for, or better yet, think of three things that you currently possess that you would be incredibly empty and lost if you woke up tomorrow without. Examples include family relationships, peace of mind, physical health, etc.

• Now consider one change you can make over the course of a week to more intentionally operate or improve upon each of those three areas. This could be as simple as daily commitments to carve out at least an hour of quality time with your significant other, dedicate 30 minutes to some form of physical activity, or make time daily for meditation or prayer. It doesn’t have to be grandiose, lucrative, or insanely productive; it just needs to be valuable to you and intentional to serving the values that matter most.

• Start by focusing on one of these areas each week, adding more as you feel comfortable.

This exercise has allowed me to define and spend my energy on values and goals that are uniquely personal and meaningful, values and goals that I’ve previously allowed others to define for me.

Foster Your Personal Growth and Development

If you’re feeling up to it, use some of this time to develop skills and explore interests you didn’t have the time to previously explore.

• Use e-learning resources and youtube to learn something new.

• Always dreamed of learning to code? Do it. Want to learn a new language? Go for it.

• Or maybe you’re just trying to add a few new recipes to your dinner arsenal? Now is a great time to lean on Pinterest and Blue Apron and nurture your inner Top Chef. 

Embrace the immense possibility that accompanies times of uncertainty like this, and use today to hone and develop skills that can set you and your family up for success tomorrow. No matter how bleak things might seem today, it’s a chance to get better and be better, so seize the day.

Get to Know Your Children… as People

As parents, we’re constantly challenged with molding, shaping, and shepherding our children into adulthood. It’s an amazing feat, and a challenge we typically don’t have the time or space to truly think about and focus on. From getting everyone ready each morning, and school drop-offs and pick-ups, to extracurriculars, dinner, and bedtime, we typically fast forward through life, doing lots of things for our children but not necessarily spending quality time with our children.

• Spend this time of seclusion and social isolation to change that by getting more in touch with your children’s personalities, interests, pet peeves, and idiosyncrasies.

  • Who are they? Depending on their age, they could be vastly different than they were a few months ago.

  • Any new traits you haven’t previously noticed?

  • Any new interests or dislikes?

  • What’s something they’re really good at?

  • What’s their favorite thing that you do together?

  • What new things can you do together?

• Unplug. Set aside some time without your devices to talk, play cards, or play a board game.

• If you have multiple children, spend time together, but also carve out quality time to engage one-on-one with each of them. Every child shares themselves and bares their souls differently, but being able to use this unprecedented time to learn more about them will make this time more precious for both of you.

Since all we have is time at the moment, make those seconds and minutes count!

Embrace the Digital Age of Education

With schools closed, moms and dads across the globe are now the sole stewards of their children’s learning and development. The good news is, we have more knowledge at our fingertips than any other time in history; so embrace online learning tools, websites, and virtual resources. Moreover, since traditional K-12 classrooms tend to disproportionately emphasize content memorization as a result of our increased focus on test taking,

• Use this as an opportunity to create a more open, personalized environment for your child that’s conducive to deep learning, practical skill-building, and critical thought.

• Make it fun, make it practical, and focus on mastery of skills over content.

• Use digital resources -- audio books, YouTube videos, and even Netflix movies -- to empower your child to learn more independently and autonomously, with you merely assisting and facilitating their quest for knowledge.

One of the greatest joys, but also greatest challenges in life is self discovery. Truly discovering who you are -- good, bad, beautiful, and ugly -- can be painful, but also extremely enlightening. As parents, we’re also trying to discover who our kids are and help mold them into their highest potential. Use this time, as Keith LaMar recommended, to bask and explore the self discovery uniquely suited for this type of isolation, and empower your children to do the same. 

While there are feelings of confusion and loss that accompany no longer having the routines, social interactions, and community we took for granted prior to coronavirus, I truly believe that although there are many things we’ve individually lost, greater things can be found -- deeper familial bonds and connections, more intimate awareness of self, more individualized and personalized development and growth. And wouldn’t that be the most beautiful silver lining to it all?

If you enjoyed this post and would like more information on being intentional with your life, check out my posts on value and goal-based living, intentional self-care, childcare and development, and relationships.